> Recent Entries
> Archive
> Friends
> User Info
> myspace page
> previous 20 entries

April 2nd, 2007

(Leave a comment)

March 11th, 2007

(Leave a comment)

(Leave a comment)

December 16th, 2004

(1 comment | Leave a comment)

November 16th, 2004

08:42 pm - NICK GREER is sooo super hot....... actually he is but he told me to make that my title sooo i thought...hmmm why the fuck not? matthias is leaving me and i can't stop crying.......inside. he's a beautiful person and i feel like i met him at a good time in my life. i hope he stays in my life....and i hope to god he stays my lover. i listened to massive attack today. it always puts me in this dark sensual twisted sort of mood. i get really fuckin hot listening to it. it makes me wanna have kinky hair pullin- back scratching sex just real slow intense and awesome..its weird how music can totally control your emotions and your moods. i really am gonna miss him. my eyes keep watering around him... i wanna be cool but i can't. he let me know how he feels. and he feels the same......i'm glad. this beauty we have together...it surreal. MATTHIAS:why can't you just move to schaffausen???? ME:i'll be there in march MATTHIAS: march is a long time away....... yeah it really fuckin is Current Mood: listless Current Music: massive attack- mezzanine

(1 comment | Leave a comment)

November 15th, 2004

10:52 pm - and swallow every inch of this city.......... today went to north shore...sans matthias..and surfed i think i broke my rib. cam home and talked with this cute surfer boy named ERIK and it was fun i had a nice snuggle with him...too bad he was trying to kiss and FONDLE ME SO DAMN MUCH..yuck. then josh came over and we had some expensive hennesy and i cried and slow danced with him...with him telling me all his thoughts on me and on our friendship that almost evolved. i miss him. we are so close. i dont know if i can stand leaving this. this place is me to a T. im so in love with everything and everyone. i just love it...in this deep body shattering type of way. im in so deep. and matthias and i had our talk about what we feel. i feel like i love hime here but i could never love him fully. i love being with him when i am with him and when im not im not. we kiss and its sweet like honey dew melon on a hot day. and all we do is kiss...for hours. i never have done this before. its...amazing. its literally...AWESOME. i mean i am in total awe of him some times when we are kissing. i just am like...wow these are his lips and wow this is his tongue and when he traces his tongue around my lips..i get goosebumps. its insane. andn its something i never thought i would love so much.he amazes me with his touch. when he pulls away i get angry because i always want more of him. WOW. wow. why is he leaving me soo soon....... i'm home soon. and now i feel like this was good for me Current Mood: hot

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

November 10th, 2004

07:29 pm - so there is so much news to tell I am going on tour with my friends band in february and then on to switzerlaand and then france and england....i am hoping i can move to france. For good. i met a person i love who is swiss and i want to spend the rest of my life with this person close to me. He is very unique and important and i feel like he came along at a time when i needed him and helped me make the deciscion that i no longer want to live in the USA.i hope to come home love mike and then be gone. i hope mike comes along or maybe i will come back...but for right now at least i know what i want to do with my life. Film photography surf and travel.and love. kisses that last all night. and things spoken softly right when they are needed. never having to talk just to take up space. and sharing the shelter of my single bed. that is what is most important to me Current Mood: determined Current Music: some german r and b group

(1 comment | Leave a comment)

November 9th, 2004

12:37 am - no surf no fuckin sleep Stayed up late as shit last night hanging out with this swiss boy named matthew. it was better than cartoons.......but only by a small amount....found out mike reads my fucking journal...and that is disappointing.maybe thats because I TRUSTED HIM!!!!!! sarah O i miss you and i am glad you are in love.....justin reed....get away from my muthafuckin house before i fuckin whoop your ass. I decided i want to marry one of amelie's friends for france citizenship...and never fuckin come back. But most of you guys would cry alot....so i'll let you all come visit....on fridays. i want to go fuckin skating i havent been in a whil;e and every time i hear justin and fucking gordon go up to philly it makes me wanna cry ALOT. gordon needs to hurry up and get out here so we can skate our heads off and film some skate shit.........NOW. and so that i am not all alone with my black self. I LOVE BLACK PEOPLE more and more every day..... gordon.....we should start a black club and allow only the baddest mother fuckers up in it i love you all good night Current Mood: angry Current Music: nothing cuz i dont have a goddamned radio

(1 comment | Leave a comment)

October 27th, 2004

09:10 am - chilllaxin i just got back from checking the surf this morning... the swell is comin in over halloween weekend. that means...NORTH SHORE!!!!!!! 15 foot hawaiian waves.i need to wake up early more. lately i have been slackin on surfing. maybe thats because i have been getting trashed as shit. I have never consumed so much drugs and alcohol in my life.EVER. But on a lighter note... i am fucking having the time of my life....sure some of it sucks but....i am in mothafuckin hawaii. I'll be home for xmas tho but the i am off to england and france then to canada and then back to dc. i am definitely so much more confident then when i left. i needed to go on this trip so that i could let go of some of the bullshit in my life....like all the badness in my relationship with mike..jealousy, fights, resentment...i feel like its all just been sucked out of me. i feel like i can really just focus and love him...for the rest of my life. because i know that noone will ever know me like him. period. and i will never know or trust anyone like i trust him.hell, i dont want too. i just want him. well....i should get going jamie and i have plans to smoke massive amounts of weed and go to te grocery store because we are poor and we starve all the time. Did you know a gallon of milk is 8 FUCKING DOLLARS!!!!! hawaii is so expensive it is crazy....macdonalds is 9 dollars for value meals and no dollar menu!!!!! NO DOLLAR MENU??????? my god man. its insane. i mean sometimes i go 3 days with nothing but 1 cup of fucking ramen...which by the way are a dollar a piece. Current Mood: exanimate Current Music: eek-a-mouse

(1 comment | Leave a comment)

October 22nd, 2004

08:17 pm - i am photo documenting everything i do so that i can remember all of this. i am going to cry so hard that tears will stain my cheeks for years to come. i hope that i end up raising my children here. hell i hope i end up here with every bit of my soul........i wanna go home cuz i miss mike tho. i miss him like........like fat kids miss food. damn. why cant he just come here Current Mood: determined

(Leave a comment)

07:28 pm - hawaii weed is the bizzomb

(Leave a comment)

October 20th, 2004

12:01 pm - beaches & blunts photo's by tasja & jose421 this is for all you bitches !

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

October 18th, 2004

11:06 pm - i miss you all all of the fucking time I WANNA COME HOME TO SEE ALL OF YOU....... but i wont cuz its sooo goddamn cold there and so fuckin awesome here. hahahahahahahaha but i do miss you all. i really really miss every single person even the ones i wanted to kill alot. i think i am going to start blending into the background more.....apparently i stick out a lot. but i always stick out. all the fuckin time. i dont think i was made to fit in. i mean i dont want to be some docile lil girl who is all wrapped up in herself but at the same time......i dont know anyone here but jamie and amelie so maybe i should just fade myself out of this role of loud rambunctious girl who is down with everyone...because i dont think i really am down with almost anyone. anyways ..........time for the update............josh came up and is taking over first...domanic fell off.....mark is on there somewhere and the brits take up the entire list. everyone all caught up......good Current Mood: stressed Current Music: sade...no ordinary love

(Leave a comment)

(Leave a comment)

11:02 am - hawaii is my home and i aint never goin back i got my nose pierced and looks hot. the sexy bastard i loffe pierced me. i dont love him so much tho since he fuckin stood me uplast night.........then we were supposed to be hanging out tonite and so far he is a no show...........why do i love boys who want lil blonde things........ i mean really! this guy tim from b more is hot but i am not sure of him. tomorrow i go up to north shore with 15 hot ass boys from london. i love this trip...so many foreign boys i feel like i am touring the globe. i am going to post some pics soon.this place is getting to me tho. i am starting to feel mean and angry at men. rey makes me wanna die he was someone i could have loved....i think but i wouldnt know because i thought i knew him but i was just blinded. at least i know he cares a bit and he does love me we just dont fit. i only fit with mike Current Mood: crushed Current Music: dress you up in my love

(Leave a comment)

October 13th, 2004

11:11 am - drop it like it's hot drop it like its hoottttt last night....i actually got me some wonderful goodness. it was good. and good and fucking awesome.rey rocksmy socks off in spanish......because he is from spain. it makes sense really. dominik told me he likes jamie.....who is blonde...why do all boys like blondes? and i am still not a ho in the ho kondo.i am waiting till i get home for any ho activities. i misss gordon davis he makes me laugh. i miss a lot of things and a lot of people. people who probably never even think about me.My wisdom teeth are all swollen and make me cry every day i can only eat ice cream and a lot of fruit. they are making me want to die especially in this constant heat. i have no AC no fridge no nothing....ahhhhhh life in paradise is the shit. i got to go tho it's nigga night and we all know what that means........ASS SHAKING!!!!!!!!! Current Mood: enthralled

(Leave a comment)

October 11th, 2004

12:29 pm - every morning i wake up in HAWAII i paddle out at 730 or 8 most mornings see whats up with the waves and zone out. my skin is red all the time and my arms are getting buff from surfing so fuckin much. i am in my own version of heaven... if only mike was here. if only gordon. just anyone from home. i left home and it was good for me. i know i have to go back for a while but i know i will end up here. thoughts of the winter keep me away like thorns on a rose seems like i miss things all the time....but i am forgetting them more and more i met canadian hardcore kids...i am working on a film documentary of the hardcore scene and lifestyle. dc has the best scene but montreal is fuckin sick. i miss hardcore shows and converge while gettin tats.i got new ink on the back of my neck and its sick. i am gonna let this boy here pierce me but.......my dad will kill me when i get home, but i dont really give a shit. Current Mood: awake

(Leave a comment)

October 6th, 2004

10:27 am - boys like you are dime a dozen she said dont: let it get to your head!!!!!! bored in the ho met some hippies got high met some other people got high decided I HATE THE HOKONDO BOYS oh and got high..........ate food....played video games missed gordon so bad i feel like flinging myself off a bridge Current Mood: content Current Music: my hands around your throat....i think i hate you

(Leave a comment)

September 24th, 2004

(Leave a comment)

September 19th, 2004

(Leave a comment)